3 Lessons I'm Learning in My Early 20s (the Hard Way)

This blog post originated from an AMA (Ask Me Anything) session I recently hosted on my Instagram, where I received several intriguing and reflective questions. The depth and relevance of these questions inspired me to expand my responses into a what you are reading now.

Lesson 1: Invest in Relationships

Invest in building relationships and helping people even if they're not in a position to help you.

The fastest route to success is to have evangelists—people who will call your name in rooms where opportunities exist, even when you’re not there. They’ll advocate for you without your knowledge and help you open doors you didn’t even think about.

How do you get evangelists? You invest in relationships.

Early in my journey, I learned the importance of genuinely supporting others without expecting anything in return. The key here is authenticity. People sense when your intentions are transactional, and this often erodes trust. Instead, show up for people because you care. Help them without keeping a scoreboard. Later down the line, some of these relationships will open doors you didn't even know existed.

The world runs on relationships and the strongest networks are built on genuine relationships—not transactions.

Lesson 2: Your Environment Shapes Your Ambition

I grew up in a small village called Muyuka. The turning point in my journey came when I moved to Yaounde, the capital city. Suddenly, my environment exposed me to different ideas, ambitious people, and bigger opportunities.

Environment shapes ambition. Small towns often offer comfort and familiarity, but big cities can challenge you and significantly expand your opportunities. When you're surrounded by diverse and ambitious individuals, their energy and ambition become infectious. You start believing in bigger possibilities and pushing for greater things.

If you have the chance—travel or move to a bigger city, even temporarily. It will stretch you in ways you didn't anticipate, opening doors and opportunities you might never have imagined.

3. Put Yourself Out There—Visibility Matters

We often underestimate the power of visibility. If you're building something, creating art, running a business, or working on an important cause, share it.

I've noticed a direct correlation between visibility and opportunities. The more you talk openly about what you're doing, the more people become aware of your efforts, and the more opportunities you'll attract.

Opportunities rarely knock on closed doors. Open your door by being visible and vocal - quiet mouths don't get fed.

What Really Matters in the End?

When thinking about legacy, many people focus on titles, awards, or wealth. But the reality is, most of us won't be remembered by the world at large. Unless you're extraordinarily famous or influential, your death will be mostly insignificant.

What matters most, then, is being remembered by those closest to you as kind, generous, and human. These qualities leave lasting impressions far beyond professional titles or material success.

Becoming Successful by 26

First, success needs a personal definition. Society’s narrative about success often revolves around wealth and quick achievements. But here's the truth: few people achieve significant wealth or fame by 26 unless they're exceptionally lucky, talented, or privileged.

Instead, focus on mastery and patience. True success is a long game involving a ton of sacrifice, dedicated effort, and persistence. Understand that you can indeed have it all, but rarely all at once. Play the long game, build strong foundations, and remember that your timeline doesn't have to mirror anyone else's.