Our Approach To Death

I recently came across Warren Buffett’s letter to his shareholders, where he explained why he plans to give away 99% of his wealth. His reasoning struck a chord: he wants his children to have "enough so they can do anything, but not enough that they can do nothing." These words reflect a deep understanding of life’s impermanence and the responsibilities wealth brings.

Buffett’s realism about death is refreshing. He doesn’t pretend it won’t come; instead, he prepares for it thoughtfully, ensuring his family is ready. He even suggests that parents share their wills with their children while they are alive, so they understand what’s to come. This practice, though uncommon in many families, feels wise and necessary.

I come from a polygamous African family where, as it is the case with many other families, silence around death often leads to chaos. My maternal grandfather, a hardworking man by all accounts, acquired vast amounts of land during his lifetime. Sadly, when he passed, his death triggered a generational family feud over his property. Whether he left a will or discussed his wishes, I do not know. But I believe that if his approach to death was different, much of the conflict could have been avoided.

Inheritance disputes are one of the leading causes of family breakdowns on the continent, and the risk is magnified in contexts where silence or cultural norms discourage open conversations about death. Why not involve your children in understanding the legacy you will leave behind? Why not address the questions and concerns while you are still here to answer them? Silence always leaves room for doubt and division.

Would you want your children to read and discuss your will with you before you die?